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A History of Blood – Vol. 1, Chapter 6

The next phase of my life involves having a day job and multiple side hustles that allow me to work at nights and over the weekends.

After my last project (and the failed relationship that went with it) I’m in a weird spot career wise. Converting to Islam means that I can’t continue to sell life insurance in good faith, can’t continue studying to become a Chartered Life Underwriter, and can’t continue “dating” all of which puts me at a loss. I have to break into a new career field, in a new city, with a new community, all on my own.

Accounting is something I’m excited enough about to where I’m not super upset about the career change. I still have my insurance license, so I’ll still be around, it’ll just be significantly more low-key than before.

I genuinely dislike the educational requirements of a CPA when compared to a CLU, especially since they both have fairly obnoxious work requirements. That being said, I’ve formally created my own company and now it’s just a matter of staying organized. Tomorrow I have an appointment at the mosque at 2:00 PM but outside from that I don’t have anything planned. I do have some calls to make, but I am struggling to get organized.

I really should just get a job at an office / call center and not worry about the field, but I’m having transportation issues either way. I’m a bit stuck and it’s starting to get to me. I can’t work from home but I can’t afford to get to the office.

I’ve never felt as “stuck” as I do now. Progress is being made but it’s slow.

In a perfect world, I would work in an office/call center during the day, and do deliveries at night and on the weekends. Office jobs tend to pay anywhere from $15-$20 per hour while offering full-time work, which is roughly $600-$800 per week before taxes, and usually about $450-$600 after the fact. Deliveries pay a bit less, usually at about $13-$14 per hour, and is part-time work, usually 25 hours for $350 per week before taxes.

Putting it together is about $950-$1,150 per week before taxes and expenses and anywhere from $550-$1,000 after taxes and expenses. With all my recent experiences in mind, my goal for 2027 is $50,000+ a year, which if I can accomplish, will be my best year by a very large margin.

My motivations for this year are also very clear: Her.

$33,000 a year is enough for me to live on my own, but not enough to take care of her; on the outside, she’s a strong independent woman, but on the inside, she’s a house cat— I just need to feed her, give her shelter, and give her space. I am becoming the type of man that can not only provide financially, but can also provide spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

She’s made her point abundantly clear; if I cannot provide, we cannot be together— but if I can provide, then I need to do it quickly. The beauty of this is that if I can provide, I can have any woman I want, and if she walks away (into the arms of another) then it will allow another woman to walk into my arms the same exact way. If I do meet a new woman, this relationship will have prepared me perfectly for it.

I have a few weeks of unemployment left which gives me time to find a new job. The amount I’m making from unemployment will be based off of how much I was making when i had an office job in Baltimore, and even though the amount is significantly less than what I was making when I was working full time last year, it’s still more than what I was making working full time this year, which is a shame.

I shouldn’t have to quit my job to get a raise.

Going from making $287 while working 48 hours a week to making $430 while looking for a job full-time puts me in a much, much better financial position and headspace.

Now I can focus on the following tasks:

1. Building my bookkeeping business
2. Getting FL Driver’s License
3. Getting FL Class D & Class G (aka armed and unarmed) security guard certifications
4. Visiting the VA and starting my disability claim
5. Studying Islam to the fullest

All that to say I have three career options; continue selling insurance until I am in a better financial position, then switch to bookkeeping/accounting full-time; work as a delivery/taxi driver/during nights/weekends while selling insurance during the day; work as a security guard during nights/weekends while selling insurance during the day, and filling any gaps in my schedule with deliveries/driving.

Right now, I have a few peaceful days of studying, and freedom from the woman I was supposed to marry. I love her with all my heart, but she doesn’t always understand (or reciprocate) the way I feel, but it’s no longer frustrating. Instead, I’ve begun to understand her role in my life; she is here to break my heart and ensure a contrite spirit.

Thanks to her, I have become patient. All the stress in my life is gone, and I am a better person as a result of our relationship. My prayers have been answered in the following way: If she returns to me, our love is real, and she is my responsibility; if not, then our love was a lie, and I have been saved from further torment.