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A History of Blood – Vol. 1, Chapter 9

Last year I experienced an extremely traumatic event that has caused my mental health (and my finances) to nosedive. It has made me consider the possibility that I might have a disability, and that the disability could ultimately stem from my military service.

I’ve known a few people who have passed away, with many of them happening by surprise.

David Michael Quintero Jr., Gregory Vaughn Sterkenburg, Tyler Steven Asher, Andrew Miller, Brooke Lauren Garrett, Johan Enid Garcia Garcia, Sarah Rachel Feinman, and Jaime Allison Morgan.

Out of the seven people mentioned above, the oldest person on the above list was only 29 years old, which is the same age I was when joined the military. I had to get a waiver for the sake of joining the Marines specifically, despite the fact it would have probably been wiser to join the Army or the Navy.

The Struggle to Reenlist

For starters, the Army and the Navy offer better bonuses in addition to the higher age limit. The current age limit for either branch is 42, meaning that if for some reason I am able to reenlist, it would likely be into either one of those branches. The problem is that the Marines gave me a negative reenlistment code, which holds me back from continuing my service. The whole situation is strange, so I won’t talk about it here, but I do have a lawyer currently reviewing my situation.

A brief summary is this: I’ve had a drinking problem since I was a teenager. I’ve constantly gotten into both legal, social, and familial problems because of alcohol, the people it attracts, the way I am unable to drink socially, and the way my alcoholism has stunted my personal development.

When I was in active duty in the Marines, I woke up one day and genuinely found myself at a loss. I had to call and ask for help; I couldn’t figure it out on my own, from the bottom of my heart I wanted to find a better way to live. Because I had started drinking at 16, and because I was 30 years old when I asked for help, I genuinely did not know how to manage my adult life without alcohol.

I was diagnosed with a severe alcohol use disorder in January 2023, completed a program of rehabilitation from March to April 2023, but then I was separated in August 2023. The exact dates can be found in my DD214.

Separation Anxiety

Apparently, the underlying reason I was separated was for a “legal issue” dated June 11, 2018 from an event that occurred on June 11, 2015, that was resolved on October 2022, almost a year before I was separated.

It has bugged me to no end: the event that led to my separation happened in June 2015, I was allowed to enlist in March 2022, resolve the event in October 2022, but was then separated in August 2023.

The whole situation strikes me as strange, but I was too new in my sobriety to comprehend what was happening during the time I was active duty. Everything was so new to me.

The problem was then after being separated, I went through the same process over again. I had to learn how to adjust to civilian life and how to adjust to sobriety.

I was able to accomplish a full year of sobriety, but not a full year of sobriety as a civilian, specifically learning one of my triggers in the process.

Year 1

My first year of sobriety was from March 14, 2023 – May 27, 2024. I ended up relapsing on Memorial Day, overwhelmed by the fact that I had to live alone, feeling abandoned by my family, empty after my military service, upset with a breakup, upset with the work from home lifestyle, and overall, that my life had lost all purpose and meaning.

I had tried going to the VA, but they claimed that I didn’t qualify for benefits since the 19 months and general discharge (under honorable conditions) wasn’t the 24+ months and honorable discharge they were looking for.

They told me that if I really wanted help, I’d have to have service connected disability. Even so.

I am currently at 337 days (or 11 months) of sobriety, fully as a civilian, meaning I’m approaching the point where I will once again earn my 1 year token. This time, I am a bit more confident I can earn the two year token.

What’s Next

Next week I have a meeting with a lawyer about a discharge upgrade, which is something I’ve been working on for years. I’ve also got a meeting with the VA about a disability claim. I was reluctant at first, but mental health has gotten severely worse. Outside of that, I’ll be working on my podcast, this blog, and my brand new bookkeeping business.

I’m starting a bookkeeping business to replace my insurance because, after realizing that insurance is just too much for me. Outside of that, I’ll be making more content around menswear, dating, fitness, and firearms.

The next chapter will be the end of Volume 1 — after which I’ll review all the current chapters, and compile them into what could be my 2nd published book. What should be my first published book, started out as a chapter of this story, before turning into what is currently a 50,000 word manuscript.